Acquaintances would be surprised to hear that I’m actually a very shy person. If I’m comfortable with you I can talk your head off. But people who really know me would tell you that I’m shy and sometimes unsure of myself. I knew of “imposter syndrome” before I knew the term.
With the 4th of July coming up and all the loud “Booms” that I generally avoid like the plague because of PTSD from living in the hood, I’ve decided to fight my nature and make my own noise.
I’ve declared July the month to BE BOLD. This means I will force myself to do uncomfortable things.
Before this week ends, I will have completed 5 things:
Sign up for therapy
Send an unsolicited email requesting a business opportunity
Apply for a new job doing something creative
Fill out an application to host a workshop
Submit something for an Artist Call
I have written “BE BOLD” on a series of sticky notes posted at home, on my day job monitor, and in my car. When I chant that will be the mantra.
The task of the day was to clean up. All I had to do was sort through the excessive amounts of card stock and put them in their assigned color coded packs and return them to the shelf.
Instead, as I looked at them I could feel my brain getting hot like a cell phone left on the dashboard of a car in the summer. I started thinking about how I have way too much card stock – true. How I need to get rid of some – also true. Then I started thinking about the types of books that I dream of making and these pieces would ever get used. They weren’t the designs I desired for those projects. Then it happened. I pulled up a chair. It was all over. Cleaning up was no longer in the picture.
I sorted the paper and played with color combinations and wondered what I could make from them or if I’d just donate them to Scraps even though I’d just purchased most of them just a few months back. I began to subconsciously fold them. The problem is card stock is thick. Most people use it for covers not the inside of books. I’d never need that many covers. It wasn’t even double-sided. One side was colorful and the other side was stark white. Should I try glueing them back to back? The idea of punching through several layers of card stock to sew them or even imagining what it would be like to turn such pages had me moving toward creating a donation box.
I started to think about all the book making books that I have in my library with little flags sticking out of the pages with techniques that I was determined to try but still hadn’t had the time. The lightbulb came on! It was just like in a cartoon. It’s time to try tab binding. I sat down and let the tv run, only half listening to a cult documentary (my favorite genre). I was in the zone. The result was actually super cute.
I’d created a 6″ x 6″ journal that could be used for mixed media and all sorts – with only glue! None of the pages are plain white but they are not so overwhelming that you’d not be able to write or draw on them. None of the pages are shiny, so you can use any type of paint or ink. Even markers would not bleed through to the other side because the pages are doubled, and it lays flat. Did I mention it’s SUPER F___KING CUTE????? I did my thing! I’m proud of my little creation.
I know I didn’t invent anything new but the idea came to me. It was not something I saw on Youtube and copied. So my pride is justified. I saw a problem and I solved it.
Now I have a new project that I am into – only slightly obsessed at this moment. So I think I’ll make a little series of these books. Not sure what to call them yet.
I can’t believe I didn’t record making it. This is the type of thing friends tell me is social media fodder. I’m still terrible at social media. When I get an idea I jump in. I don’t think of pulling out the camera. I’ll record making the next one. I think this could also be a great project for my art classes since the required materials are simple.
I think I’ll make a small batch and do a launch for them all at the same time. Having more followers would help but that’s all a different topic for another day. Today I’m on a creative high. Check out my baby.
I participated in SOWEBO Fest in Baltimore last week and people who signed up for my mailing list were entered for a chance to win a curated Art Box. The winner was selected using a randomizer.
[*IF YOU CAN’T SEE THE VIDEO HIT “READ ON BLOG” AT THE TOP OF THIS EMAIL.]
What the Winner Gets
I crafted this charming little box for you to store your treasures, and I’ve filled it with a few delightful treats to encourage relaxation and spark your creativity.
Thanks to everyone who participated!
If I don’t hear from the selected winner in a week I will have another drawing to select a new winner.
I hope you all will continue to follow me and check in to see what I’m creating.
Next, I’ll be working on offering in-person art classes for adults. These classes are called Summer Camp. They’re reminiscent of those crafty summer camp classes we had as kids, but with an elevated twist.
Follow me on your favorite social media app to see what I’m working on.
A friend and I were talking about creating junk journals and she is at the start of her journey and mentioned going to Micheals. I insisted that she probably had everything she needed at home and at best she could find anything else at the local dollar store.
The challenge was on. Here’s my side of the challenge.
I hope she decides to share her creation when it’s finished.
I have a problem with consistency. It’s not because I don’t want to be consistent. I just can’t find the time to do all the things I have planned. There is a conflict between the time in my brain and the actual time on the clock. Part of the problem that I will admit to is that since menopause started I realize how much I need to rest. Prior to that, I could easily live on 3 hours of sleep. Now 6 hours don’t seem like enough.
My work life has changes as well. Commutes that are an hour plus take a toll on my planner. And regular life task are constantly being rearranged to other days.
So why would I take on challenges when I already don’t have enough time to get things done? I DON’T KNOW!
2026 is all about getting back into my art practice. I want to eventually start art classes for adults as a way for them to destress.
I love collage and multi media but sometimes when I have a bit of free time it’s not my most creative time. My most creative time is actually late at night when I should be sleep for work the next day. Challenges with prompts are good ways for me to stretch my brain and to have something to think about as a topic.
Prompts are a low stakes way to get going. Usually when I started I can get into the creative zone and I usually have to force myself to stop.
The year started with Februllage. I was to create a collage everyday in February. This was (and is) a fun challenge. But collages take time. I even worked in a small art journal specifically for this challenge. I thought it would make it easy to have a portable workspace in case I was inspired on my lunch break.
In collage you have to search for elements. This is already a challenge when you have your own idea but now you have no control over the prompts. An example was the word “Oblibvious” – not an easy concept. Here is mine:
A woman sitting oblivious that Death is standing behind her.
Getting home at 7 pm did not make it easy to look for elements. I was glad they provided the list with all the prompts up front. It allowed me to brainstorm and at least start looking for things that could be used for any of them. The cutting and pasting still take time, not to mention waiting for paint to dry for backgrounds.
Februllage is an annual practice. This was my first year. Today is March 1st and I have not finished all 28 collages. I have about 12 more to do. But I plan to keep going to prove that I can finish it. I will be the last artist crawling across the finish line about two weeks late but I will finish! You can see all my collages on my IG account under the Februllage highlight.
So now because I am a glutton for punishment I decided to take part in The 100 Day Project. This is another annual challenge that I just learned about. Same idea as the previous one but for 100 DAYS! Why Lord? I must be a sadist.
This challenge officially started on Feb 22. There are people all over the world taking part. On the up side you can pick what ever project you want. I’ve since been listening to 100 Day Vets who say they do this challenge several times a year. You can start anytime you want really, but because I a newbie I started on the 22nd even though I wasn’t finished Februllage.
I would be more methodical about this challenge. I decided to create backgrounds. That’s it. No other constraints. Backgrounds for what? I don’t know that yet but I figured I could used them for the journals I create or for future collages. Nobody likes a stark white page. So there you have it. I’ve foolishly started another challenge.
I’m not going to lie. I’ve already had two nights that I was sleepy and ALMOST skipped it but I pushed through. Was the background great those nights? No, but they were done and that’s the point. I have been posting them on my IG as well.
I’m told that posting them online is a way to keep you consistent because “people are watching”. I don’t have many followers and I don’t stress about online bullying so not sure it matters to me. I do like to see them all in one place and it’s easier to track what number I’m on.
I hope this practice will help me develop a habit of creating something everyday. I also hope that I will see some type of improvement. Art does truly feed my soul. I will keep you posted if I can improved the consistency of these blog posts.
This month I will be sharing my reflections on 2025. The first thing I will be looking back on is my “Firsts” of 2025.
It’s funny to think that even though I’d had my YouTube Channel for years I really started to share content in 2025.
Here’s my Intro Video. (Cringe)
I was pushed into this very uncomfortable position by the instability of my job (like many others in 2025). As a government employee who was part of the RIF I took the opportunity to focus on my business more than I had in the past.
I would love to say that I propelled full force and can now claim success. That’s not the cases at all. I had to force myself into very uncomfortable positions. I had to share aspects of my personal life online. This is something that I had refused to do most of my life. I even created a demo video on how to measure yourself for online shopping while in the throws of uncontrollable, menopausal, weight gain.
I’m so thankful for my friends who really encouraged me to push through and to keep recording and posting. I have to take this time to personally thank two people, in particular.
My friend Burgundy, who started recording her gardening videos at the same time pushed me to actually start posting. I NEVER would have done any of this foolishness if not for her. I guess we can all blame Burgalicious.
My cousin/friend Rae helped me get the followers I needed on Tik Tok to go live by allowing me to talk to her (on speakerphone) during her live-stream while she repeatedly told everyone to follow me as she made her very popular, very fashion forward Junk Socks available on Etsy.
This brings me to another “First.” I started a podcast with Rae. Crafting and Coffee was developed by Rae and myself from our online meetings as we chatted and worked on our creative projects. Most times I’m working on my current project and Rae, who is supposed to also be crafting, is not (lol). Instead she looks like a professional DJ/podcaster and steers the conversation so I don’t go off the rails. This has been a lot of fun barring technical issues which is typical for many new podcasters. Our highlight episode for me was our Met Gala coverage because it was hilarious! We’d both planned to surprise each other by dressing on theme.
Having a partner to record with is easier than doing it alone. 2025 was also the year of my first Live Stream. I did one on Tik Tok and later one on YouTube after I had enough followers to post lives. Live Streams are very complicated for me as I am expected to engage with the viewers while working at the same time. I have not figured this out yet. But I will continue to try this in 2026.
I think I will work live on Tik Tok and do planned Lives on YouTube.
I will go into detail on my creative endeavors of 2025 in another post this month, but I must mention another first as it’s my new obsession. I started creating journals. Mostly junk journals because I focus on recycling / upcycling. I love the creative “no rules” freedom of making these journals. They will be for sale starting this month. They will be available on Etsy as well as via direct purchase via links to my social posts. I love creating these journals with discarded materials and by altering old books.
Looking back at my art journal gave me the idea to do these year in review blog posts. I feel like as a whole 2025 was not a great year. But there have been lots of highlights that were bright spots that make me thankful for old and new friends and my small but strong family.
I hope you will follow my blog to see the rest of my year in review.
I just recently learned what “AITA” was. Now it’s my time to use it.
AITA because I’m not feeling Christmas at all this year?
Last year this time I was feeling hopeful and excited about starting my business in a new state. I’d just started vending and was somewhat successful.
This year instead of feeling excited about moving forward, or even feeling my normal fear of stagnation, I feel like I’m slowly moving backward. The movement is so slow it’s equivalent to watching the Earth rotate. It’s moving but you can’t feel it.
I’m aware of how dramatic that sounds but the truth shall set us all free.
I am making tiny strides, but even potential projects that involve other people seem to be moving at the same snail’s pace. Are they also feeling the same?
“The Holidays” don’t seem like the holidays. I was blessed to see my son for Thanksgiving but that was because I had a medical procedure.
I made a few gifts but most were made early in the year so I didn’t feel the normal rush to get Christmas projects done. This was actually a good thing but it left a nagging feeling that I’m forgetting people.
When I look around, many of my neighbors still have Halloween decorations up. Some have a mash-up of Halloween and Christmas like they couldn’t be bothered to take the first set down.
I’d started working on a few Christmas items to make for sale but lost interest. I’ve boxed them up to start back up next year.
Everyday I have a plan of things to do and I’m satisfied if even one thing gets done.
Is it the weather? It’s freezing outside and I’ve been lucky not to have to spend too much time out there so far.
When I do go out I feel so sad because there are so many unhoused people who are not as blessed as I am to have a comfy warm place to lay their heads. I am very aware of my blessing but a blanket of fear covers me when I see these people. Am I next?
I’ve stopped watching the news. I just can’t take it.
The only thing I want to do is work on my art. I zone out ripping papers and fabric and gluing them down. Most of the time I don’t even have a plan.
This is why I haven’t posted on my YouTube Channel in a while.
I say art is saving me often because it’s true. If I didn’t feel compelled to pick up my art journal and work on a collage or experiment with different mediums I don’t know what I’d be doing right now.
For most artist these types of feelings would result in great works of art. Something that people would marvel over in the future making sense of these feelings.
My collage “Feeling Blue”
The work I’m producing is not that. It won’t be celebrated or studied. But it does keep me sane.
Tonight I guess this blog post is serving as my journal. It’s past midnight and I am reflective and pensive with a numbness that I can’t explain.
I want to look forward to the Spring. My eyes need the color. My skin needs the sun’s warmth. Then I think, “What will this country or the world be like by Spring?”
I have never used journal prompts. I’ve never had a problem writing my thoughts. I usually have so much spilling out of my head the need for a prompt has never been necessary.
I’ve been researching ways to try different techniques with my junk journals and colleges. A trip to the library lead me to a book called, “Art Journal Workshop” by Traci Bunkers. This is a good book because she offers great technical tips for working in your art journal. The last chapter has prompt exercises. I was so into the book that I figured why not try a prompt or two.
This was a fun exercise. I can see the value of using them when you are in a creative block. I was immediately excited and full of ideas. I would not even turn the page until I’d finished my project. I was happy to see that the author has also used a photo of herself in her entry like I did.
I posted a short video on my YouTube channel of the process. Click the photo below to watch the video.
